


For Want of a Tea

by CaffieneKitty



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Challenges, Community: watsons_woes, Domestic, Gen, Google-based Research, Grocery Shopping, POV John Watson, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Silly, Tea, Watson's Woes July Writing Prompts 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4254819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffieneKitty/pseuds/CaffieneKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An urgent matter for Sherlock becomes a pain in the neck for John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Want of a Tea

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [watsons_woes](http://watsons-woes.livejournal.com/) July Writing Prompt #1: [Tempting Fate](http://watsons-woes.livejournal.com/1270707.html) Title bastardized from the 14th century proverb: [For want of a nail](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_Want_of_a_Nail).

"Milk?" John could feel his pulse start throbbing behind his eyes.

"Yes, milk. Get me some."

 _Breathe. Calm._ John smiled and nodded at the patient waiting in his examination room, the patient the nurse had called him away from to answer an 'urgent call', the patient who was now staring down the hall at him in morbid fascination like she'd unexpectedly found herself in a medical drama rather than a walk-in medical centre.

"I am at work, Sherlock! You needing milk is not an urgent case of anything."

Sherlock sighed. "It has become urgent enough that I called you. You were ignoring my texts."

"I'm at work. My mobile is off when I'm at work."

"That's ridiculous. How can I text you when your mobile is off?"

"That," John said tightly, "is the point."

"I need milk, John. Mrs Hudson's away. No tea without milk. My mental acuity is not at its peak without tea."

"So just think at the speed of the common man for an afternoon. It won't kill you."

An affronted huff carried over the line. "If a kidnapping case walked through the front door right now I'd be _impaired_ , John. I'd be on par with Anderson. Someone might _die_. So therefore my need for milk is an urgent life-or-death matter, unlike the woman you were called away from with plantar fasciitis."

John glanced back at the woman waiting in the examination room to see her still staring, but rubbing at her heel.

"How did you-" He stopped himself and closed his eyes. _Breathe._ "Never mind. Sherlock. I will _not_ leave my paying job at the surgery to go out and bring you milk. I _will_ pick up milk on my way home, and no sooner. If you need milk any faster than that you can go out and bloody well get it yourself."

"Fine." Sherlock sniffed. "I'll do that."

"Really?" John blinked in surprise. "Good. Yes. I'll, ah. I'll see you after work then."

Sherlock hummed noncommittally and disconnected the call.

John stared at the phone for a long moment before hanging up and turning back to his abandoned patient, who seemed disappointed that the 'urgent call' hadn't resulted in more excitement.

_Good. Right. About time Sherlock did the shop for a change. Anyway, what's the worst that could happen?_

Two hours and twelve patients later it sank in.

_Oh god. What have I done?_

-

A headache had settled in behind John's eyes as he followed Lestrade down the familiar path to the holding cells.

"We picked him up at the Tesco Metro on Melcombe, just down from your flat. Well, him and his sparring partner."

"Oh god." They stopped in front of the cell full of brooding detective.

"Outdid himself this time," Lestrade said with a smirk. "Public nuisance, making an affray, aggravated assault-"

" _Aggravated_ assault?!" John squawked. Horrified visions of Sherlock taking John's handgun to the shop flashed in John's head.

"The co-combatant says that Sherlock brandished-"

" _Gestured with,_ " Sherlock said pointedly from where he lay on the spartan bench inside the cell.

"-brandished four pints of semi-skimmed at him, and also claims he has a violent allergy to dairy."

Sherlock made a rude noise. "It won't stand. The man threw an aubergine at me first."

John pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "Sherlock-"

"On a case were you?" Lestrade said, rocking onto his heels with barely suppressed amusement. "Wasn't one of my cases, Some sort of infidelity business? Didn't think you went in for those."

"I don't." Sherlock's disdain was palpable. "The man was obviously having an affair. The way he fondled the gourds was indicative of-"

John held up a hand. "So, to cut past the 'deductive brilliance', you deduced that a man in the store was cheating on his spouse, said so to his face, and his response was to sensibly attack you with an aubergine?"

"That's about the shape of it, yeah." Lestrade grinned, opening the cell door.

"It was hardly a sensible attack, John." Sherlock stood up. "If it had been sensible he would have used a melon. Much larger, more radius of effect if it missed and burst on the floor."

John's headache would not be going away soon.

"Like Sherlock says, the other fellow did attack first according to the CCTV and Sherlock never actually touched him, so the charges will likely be cleared down to an ASBO by the time you get to the end of the hall." Lestrade smirked. "Which will _mysteriously_ somehow disappear before the court date. As usual."

Sherlock muttered aggrievedly about his brother as he left the cell. John muttered aggrievedly about Sherlock and ASBOs and followed.

-

Processing Sherlock out of the cells took a little longer than average due to the excessive number of aubergine-related comments the custody sergeant felt compelled to make, but it was done quickly enough to avoid Sherlock saying anything that might return him to the cells. They walked out into the cool evening air which did little to cool John's aggravation.

Trying to decide whether to laugh or start shouting, John remained ruminantly silent as Sherlock summoned a cab and they got in.

"John?" Sherlock said as John shut the cab door.

"What?" John snapped.

"We'll need to stop on the way home to get milk."

As the cab pulled out into traffic, John forced himself to take a deep breath and release it slowly, wishing for an aubergine.

\- - -  
(that's it)


End file.
